


Figure It Out

by danvernite



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Eventual Poe Dameron/Finn, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Gay Poe Dameron, Idiots in Love, Implied Zorii/Jannah, M/M, Minor Finn/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Finn Fluff, Poe is in denial?, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Rey is a good pal, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Why does everything have to be so complicated, cheesy space swears like son of a wookie, finn and rose are good friends, how many tags do i need, implied anti reylo, kylo ren brief mention, slight mention of wlw (it's very intentional) Zorii Bliss is a gay woman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21979036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danvernite/pseuds/danvernite
Summary: “That’s the beauty of love. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’re in it.”In which Finn and Poe are idiots and Rey and Zorii just want it to end. Set post-TROS, so semi spoilers.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 21
Kudos: 291





	Figure It Out

There was balance to the Force once again. They had lost many along the way, but in turn they had gained each other. Forever now, it seemed. But as Finn watched Rose from afar, he couldn’t help but think that there was something missing. There was something eating away at him, something more than what he had concealed from Rey. It was inside of him, twisting and turning and in danger of spilling out at the wrong moment.

So, he had to get away from the crowd. He found himself at the very place where General Leia had been laid to rest, cloth almost a mere covering now. Maybe it would bring him peace. Leia always seemed to know what to say and do, so certain and sure. Finn used to hold his instincts in high regard, but now he wasn’t so trusting of them. 

Rose had sparked something inside of him. He loved her, truly, he did - but not completely. He loved her as a brother did a sister, but he couldn’t tell her. Rose was strong, but fragile too. One wrong move and she could never speak to him again. No, that was silly - of course she would.  _ He  _ was scared of the potential hurt more than she would ever be and that was foreign to him. As FN-2187, he was calm, focused, composed, bound by the duties of a Stormtrooper. But as Finn, more open, vulnerable, loyal to his friends and allies, he had no idea what he was doing.

Sitting here wouldn’t help much, but he was looking forward to the peace and quiet of his own solitude… which was just as quickly interrupted.

“Do you mind if I sit here?”

At least it was Rey. They played off each other, knew each other, but she was still the last person he wanted to see, especially right now, and she wouldn’t be offended if he disengaged. They both treasured stillness, something that he had only recently discovered. The Force had ways of changing people he still couldn’t comprehend.

He patted the earth next to him and said quietly, “Take a seat.” Without a pause, she flopped down and there they sat, beside each other, thoughts mingling. After a while, she spoke. “I’m taking the sabers and burying them tomorrow.”

That surprised him, but her face was nonchalant as she answered his unspoken question. “The place where this all started. I’m putting them deep down where no one can touch them, for the light or the dark. The last place anyone would think to look. It’s what they deserve.”

She looked so certain about it that he didn’t press anymore, but eventually, she questioned him. “You’re tired. I can feel it… not like that, but you look… not like yourself.”

“I’m fine.”

“I know you, Finn.” She was throwing his own words back at him, the way he’d aimed them at her. “And I’m telling you,” she continued determinedly, “you don’t seem like you. So, what’s wrong?”

A sigh escaped from him. Dare he tell her and risk everything? Rey was trustworthy, but the thought almost turned him to stone. She’d probably use one of her tricks to get it out of him; he wouldn’t put it past her. The Force was like cursed magic sometimes. Maybe she wasn’t permitted. It wasn’t like Rey to stick to the rules anyway.

She was still waiting, her dark brown eyes filled with concern and ready to receive his burden, whatever that might have been. Fine, then. He’d tell her, just not all of it.

“I don’t love her,” he murmured, and the crushing weight of it lifted an inch. To speak it was to feel free. Rey was quiet for a moment, then he felt her take his hand. He looked up and she was sympathetic, her face lined with the understanding of making a thousand difficult choices.

“Then tell Rose that,” she answered quietly, and he was yet again thrown. “I see it in her eyes, Finn. She knows. She’s waiting for you to tell her.”

He went to speak in protest, but she beat him to it. “I’ve known for a long time. I told you - we know each other.”

He deflated, suddenly feeling like his heart was on the outside of his ribs. She’d cracked them open one by one, peeled back sinew and structure to lay him out raw and exposed. He could no longer hide, there was no use in running. The one other person he wanted to talk to most was someone he could not bear to face, so she was his only confidante.

“I can’t,” he said after a moment. “She would be angry, that I gave her false hope.”

He continued when Rey remained silent. “After FN-2187, there was a whole new world out there. The galaxy, everything was there, he was there and I was so scared of dipping my toes in. I was scared of letting out what I was taught not to feel. Rose was a starting point. She started something in me, but…  _ they  _ made it burn brighter.”

“You said he,” Rey observed. “You mean Poe.”

He nodded. It was then that he felt her squeezing his hand, and looked up to find Rey smiling at him gently. He was struck by how she was treating him - no contempt or pity, but as a careful listener to his tale. The galaxy was better because of her in it, he realised in that moment.

“What do I do?” he asked of her.

“What I said,” was all she replied. “Tell the truth. You’ve already hugged it out. He’s glad you’re alive.”

_ Glad you’re alive _ wasn’t the same as  _ he loves you back  _ though and he was foolish to think otherwise. 

It was her who broke the silence. “I kissed Kylo.” She looked almost ashamed to admit it. “It was a moment of pity. It wasn’t what I felt. It was stupid, but I did it anyway. So, there, that’s  _ my  _ truth. And you’re not to repeat that to anyone.”

“We’ve all done things we regret, then,” he concluded. “I’ve hid behind pretenses, trying to find out who I am, for too long. I’ve hurt people and I can’t take that back.”

“But that’s not  _ who  _ you are, Finn. You’re strong, almost as strong as me.” A smile played across her face again. “I don’t know if I could have had the strength to face all this though, without all of you… Luke, Leia, Poe, the droids… I would’ve succumbed to the dark.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“Trust me, I know my limits. I can only go so far before needing some help, and so do you.”

“I don’t -”

“Just tell Poe you love him before he tries to seduce another unwilling party and makes a fool of himself.” Rey sighed, practically rolling her eyes at the way he blanched. “Trust me. It’s obvious in the way you look at each other. You hold him to account, stubborn spice runner.” She laughed despite herself and it felt good after so much loss and strife, so much so that soon they were both chuckling. Poe wouldn’t be living that one down for a while.

She rested her head on his shoulder and squeezed his waist before getting up and starting back to the others, but not before patting his shoulder with a swift “Tell him.”

It was all just a matter of when.

  
  


“You know we happened a long time ago,” Zorii said, and Poe practically felt her eyes narrow behind the mask. They were sat on the Falcon’s loading ramp, something Han would’ve surely chastised them for, but Chewie was quite nonchalant about it in comparison. It still needed another once-over anyway.

She continued, “We were young, stupid, didn’t know what we wanted. We all have our pasts, but our futures matter too.” He followed her gaze to where a woman of the Resistance stood, cradling her partner’s face in her hand. The two women looked positively joyous and in love, and Poe felt a twinge of something in his chest, something deep that he couldn’t quite define. “So, there’s no hope for us then?”

Zorii practically snorted. “I grew tired of men a long time ago. I prefer different things now, different people.” There was a smile in her voice as she glanced back at the women, and suddenly the lightbulb in Poe’s head went off. “ _ Oh. _ ”

He could feel her grinning at him, and he couldn’t help but smile too. “I’m happy for you, then. You deserve love. Everyone does, especially now we’re rebuilding.”

He hadn’t really considered it up until that point, but Zorii was never really the love of his life. He loved her, found her attractive in all the conventional ways, but he didn’t feel how a person in love should feel. It was more of a fondness and her words had cemented that inside his mind. It had been a long and hard battle and perhaps seeing a familiar face had stirred phantom emotions up. He was just lucky to have her here.

They sat with faces turned towards the sky, relishing as the setting sun warmed their faces, peeking behind red and pink streaks of cloud. Finally, he posed the question. “Where are you headed to?”

“Well, it’s not exactly like I can go back to Kijimi, but… it might be worth sticking around for awhile and seeing where I’m useful.” That was understandable, Poe reasoned - but he also gathered there was another reason as he followed his friend’s gaze to Jannah. He smirked. “Just a while, huh?”

He could feel her glare. “Dameron, I swear I will end you. Doesn’t matter how far back we go. And anyway,” she added, “You and Finn.”

“What about me and Finn?” He was indignant now. He and Finn were friends, as close as brothers. To allege otherwise - well, he could feel a pang of burst pride starting in his stomach, and settling in his heart, making it beat faster. At least, something like pride. And why was his face getting hotter -

Zorii was laughing. “Ah, Poe, sometimes, you really are clueless.”

“Take that back,” he grumbled. “If you take it back, maybe -” But he was out of every threat. Something she had said had struck a chord inside him, much like how he felt now observing the lovers. His emotions were a jumbled mess and he couldn’t figure out the correct sequence to channel his trademark smoothness. For once, he was flustered.

“The great Poe Dameron, speechless? I’m surprised. He must really mean something to you.”

“He’s not -  _ we’re  _ not -”

“No one ever is,” she replied. “That’s the beauty of love. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’re in it.”

“I am not  _ in love _ ,” he snapped, putting emphasis on the last two words and practically puffing his chest out. Zorii was laughing too hard again, loud enough that people in the loading area stopped to look. Poe could feel himself deflating like a balloon. It was no use. Zorii was like a Porg with scraps; she could never let go.

“Of course you’re not. It’s not as if you stare after him whenever he goes, or squeeze a little tighter when you embrace. Not… at… all.” She emphasised each word with a tinge of sarcasm.

“I’ll prove it.” His voice sounded ever so slightly frantic. “Let me kiss you, just once.”

She sighed. “Really want to do this, huh? At least you know I won’t feel anything, anyway. I’d love to be a willing participant just to show you how dumb you are.”

She moved some of the lower part of her mask so her lips were fully visible. Poe frowned. “Not gonna take off the mask?”

“It makes me feel powerful,” she replied simply. “It reminds me that men are beneath me, well, I suppose you’re more of a wingman,” she added after his deeper glare.

“Okay,” Poe said.

“Okay,” she said. 

They stared at each other for a moment, not saying anything, and then she grabbed his face and kissed him briefly. Her lips were soft, warm, but tense, as if she’d rather eat burning garbage. But other than that, Poe didn’t feel anything. He was sure he at least was attracted enough to her to share a kiss, maybe even sleep together, but somehow thoughts had passed through his mind that were the total opposite. He couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, that kiss would be different if it was Finn’s lips and not hers and  _ oh my god, what was he doing - _

He jerked back and suddenly his mind was awash. He thought about how his heart had burst with joy seeing Finn after all the trials they’d been through in the past year, every time they had bickered during the games that he was sure Chewie cheated, how one time in the past year, they had stopped at a Cantina on some death trap planet and shared libations, and Finn’s dark skin had somehow glowed that night in the lights, and suddenly he was the most beautiful person that Poe had ever seen… 

It flooded into his heart, circulated around in his blood, and suddenly he knew that Zorii was right. He was pathetically stupid and, beyond a shadow of a doubt, was head-over-heels heart-stoppingly in love with Finn. He should have known before now, but the embarrassing part was that everyone else did, maybe even Finn himself. Finn, whose bright smile was worth fighting an entire galaxy tooth and nail for. Finn, who was loyal to a fault, and always told him when he was being an ass. Finn, who had his back in the trying times when Rey was training, who came to him for every single bit of advice, or when he was frustrated.

Finn, who treated him like family and Finn, who probably didn’t have the slightest interest in him besides being his chosen brother. He felt his heart sink again. He was such a fool,  _ this  _ was foolish. 

But Zorii was filled with glee behind the mask. He could tell as she read the agony on his face, rubbing more salt into the wound when she all but crowed at him. “I was right. Obviously.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t blow a fuse,” Poe mumbled. “I think you were. You are, and I’ve been totally clueless. And Finn, he… I love the guy, okay? But sometimes, I’m not a feelings person. I try to focus on being the best pilot, the best thief, whatever I’ve got to do. You’re the same, at least you used to be.”

“But now,” he continued, “now it seems like the fighting is over, I have time to think. I have time to breathe. And I think… being with him is what I thought being with you would feel like.”

He could feel her studying him again and his face burned hotter than any sun on any planet he had encountered thus far as he stared at the ground. He now fixed her with a steady gaze and murmured, “Thank you,” in such a small voice that it was almost uncharacteristic. Then he leaned in and kissed her cheek. She didn’t flinch, but kept staring, and he could feel her palpable amusement. “Do me a favour, though? Kiss that girl before the year is through.”

“Only if you promise the same.” She nudged him playfully and he did the same back. With every passing moment, Poe felt lighter and lighter, and this new revelation about himself only furthered that. He had plenty of time to figure everything out; there was no longer a target on his back, after all. However, he was still completely unaware of the fact that they had had an audience.

  
  


Finn should have known, he should have been on guard. The first thing he had ever been taught in life was to expect everything and react to nothing. However, as he saw the man he loved share a kiss with a woman he’d only just met again a few days ago, he couldn’t help but feel his blood surge and boil. All those times he could have kissed the handsome pilot and he had bottled out. Now he’d probably never get the chance.

Of course, he hadn’t stuck around long enough to see the conversation that transpired. He was too distracted, enroute to see Rose and explain everything. Except… would it even matter anymore? He could pretend to love her and the only one who would hurt would be him. That sounded like a great plan. If only he wasn’t conscious of others, he could execute it like a cold-blooded sociopath and no one would be the wiser. No, that wasn’t fair. He had to come clean.

He found Rose a little way back near a wooded area of the site, back from the ships. A small stream trickled and burbled as she sat cross-legged before it, only scrambling to her feet when she saw Finn on the other side and grinning widely. “Hey, you. You vanished for a while.”

He forced a smile. “Yeah, it got a bit overwhelming.”  _ And I wish I didn’t have to do this. _

He walked around to join her, slumping down on the grass.

“So,” he said after a moment.

“We have time now…” She trailed off, looking at him hesitantly. “Finn?”

“Yeah?”

It hung between them, like a floating elephant in the room. Then she said, “We’ll never have time really,” with a sigh. “Will we?”

“No.” His voice seemed blunt, detached, and he cringed at it, but he continued on. “We won’t. I’m sorry, Rose.”

“I should’ve known. When I kissed you, you froze like you’d been stunned by a blaster.” She laughed at her own terrible comparison, then a little half smile played across her lips. “Who?”

“Hang on, that’s not important.”

“It is. I care about who cares about you, you know.”

“Rey said you’d be understanding.”

“And she’s right.”

“Yeah.”

Another bout of painful awkward silence, although Rose was taking it like a champion, he noted. All his fears had been laid to rest. Sure, there’d been a touch of inevitable disappointment in her voice, but he’d got something right. She was strong. She could handle this.

“So, it’s Rey, right?”

Well, that was a surprise. He was sure he looked agape as he stammered. “No, no, of course not.”

There was a telling look on her face. She knew and it seemed she wanted him to say it. Rey was right once again. She’d been prepared.

“No.” His voice was quiet, with a slight tremble. “No,  _ he’s _ not.”

“Oh.” She sounded casual enough, and he was relieved to see her smiling wide. His heart felt like it was practically bursting with joy. This was only temporary however, as she asked, “Does he know?” and he suddenly felt like there was a pulsing ache in his chest.

“No. I don’t think so. He - he loves someone else.”

“Well, he’s an idiot.” Her voice was fierce now, and her eyes glinted just the same. “I think you’ve both been stupid. You, for not telling him and him, for not realising how amazing you are.” She scooched closer, and slung an arm around his shoulders. “You’re a good man, Finn. I’m glad you told me. I really am.”

He kissed her cheek, and despite all his best efforts, he could now taste the warm salt of tears running down his face. There was nothing to be afraid of now. The hard part was over. Now he just had to get over a man who gave him nothing in return.

“You really should tell him,” Rose murmured as she hugged him goodbye. “He’s still your friend, Finn.”

“I know. He deserves that.” He rubbed the tears away and worked on regaining his composure. Yes, there was only one barrier left and if he could face Rose, he could face that damned son of a bitch pilot, too.

“I believe in you,” she called after him as he left the small glen. “Good luck.”

“Oh, and Rose?” He lingered on her face as he turned. “You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met, besides Rey. You have a good heart, and don’t ever forget it.”

Then he was gone.

  
  


The aforementioned damned son of a bitch pilot was freaking out. He really did love Finn, more than anything, and he wished he’d seen it before. But now, they had time, and nothing was going to hold him back. As soon as he saw Finn walking into the bay, his heart did a frantic skip.  _ Son of a Wookie, I’m really doing this huh? _

There was no going back now.  _ Shit, Dameron, pull yourself together. It’s just Finn. _

He couldn’t. Finn wasn’t  _ just _ Finn. He was Finn that Poe very much wanted to kiss right now.

What he wasn’t expecting was for him to blurt out at the same time, “I need to talk to you.”

“Okay.” Poe cast around, before gesturing to the Falcon. “Come up in the ship.”

It was now or never and, for very different reasons, both boys were on edge. Once safely inside and with most of the doors locked, they looked at each other and waited for one to speak.

“I -”

“No, you go first.”

“No, maybe you should, uh -” Poe could feel his face growing hotter and hotter; boy, they really needed to sort out the temperature in here.

Finally, Finn spoke up. “Listen, I know we haven’t spoken fully since, you know, everything ended… at least for now.”

“I know.” Poe nodded, and Finn allowed his eyes to flick over the other man, taking in the cuts on his tan skin that were still healing, the dark eyes and hair that he couldn’t stop thinking about. He wanted nothing more than to pass a hand through that hair, relax that jaw that was currently taut, but -

He shook the thoughts away. No, now was definitely not the time. Poe didn’t even feel the same. He had to keep calm.

“Listen,” he continued, trying to keep his voice steady. “I think we need to talk. You and I. Just us.”

“I agree.”

“And I need to say this, just to get this over with.”

“Go on, then.”

He swallowed his nerves, took a few deep breaths, then said, “You matter to me, Poe. It took me a long time to realise it, but you do.”

Poe gave another small nod of recognition, then replied, “Well, you matter to me, too. Thanks.”

Oh. He really didn’t understand. He tried again. “No, I mean, Rose and I - I love her, but not like -”

He paused. The words balanced on the edge, not quite cascading over but just about there. And then, they tumbled. “I don’t love her like I love you. That’s what I’m saying. I hope you know what I’m saying - uh, do you know what I’m saying? And uh I know, I know Zorii is important to you and that’s okay, you know, man, if you wanna be with her, that’s cool -”

“Wait, Zorii?” Poe quirked an eyebrow, looking amused. “No, you know, I tried, but uh, she had other priorities.”

Finn’s head reeled. This must be a joke. “I saw you kiss.” His voice was level now, almost confident.

“Yeah, only to see if there was something there - which turns out, there wasn’t.” Poe laughed nervously. “No spark whatsoever. Might have been when we were kids, but she doesn’t hold my heart anymore.”

“Then who does?”

“Huh?”

“Who does?” Finn repeated quietly and carefully and, despite himself, he found himself taking a step towards the pilot.

Poe didn’t even flinch, but Finn swore he was trembling slightly. Finn kept moving until he was right in his face, not enough for their noses to touch, or skin to rub, but enough that his heart galloped.

“Who does?” he inquired again, barely more than a whisper.

There was a slight pause, then the words came. “I think you know.”

He couldn’t help it. Their lips were touching now and Poe tasted like home, if home had a taste, and he was kissing deeper, and deeper, more frantic now, he couldn’t get enough and he didn’t want to stop - and Poe’s hand reached up to cup his cheek and his heart was practically drumming at the touch -

With a gasp, they pulled apart and in their heads was only thoughts of the other. Their names, their touches, their scents. Their hearts slowly faded to the usual dull thump as they stood with their noses within grazing distance.

“What about Rose?” Poe asked after a moment. “I forgot.”

“She understands,” Finn replied and all he could see was the pilot’s bright smile as his own mirrored it, he was sure. He could feel it stretch at his lips. “They all knew. All of them, before us.”

“Oh, I think we knew,” Poe murmured against his mouth, lips already there again. “But I think we were both too stupid to realise it.”

“So, where to from here?”

“I think,” Poe whispered, “we should just stick to right now.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“And see where it goes.”

“Mm-hmm. I like that.”

“Oh, and Finn?”

“Yeah, Poe?”

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Yeah.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This literally took two days to write and it’s my first piece published here. I am so proud of it, because the last year I’ve struggled with creativity issues and so, I’m proud to start creating again and posting here. Please let me know what you guys think! I am hoping to publish regularly, with work in a variety of fandoms so please give me feedback and advice as it would be much appreciated. I wish you a very happy holiday season and I hope Oscar Isaac fights Disney to make Finnpoe canon.


End file.
